​I remember being a horse crazy teenager. For my 13th birthday my mother brought me riding at a local dude Ranch. Most exiting day of my life but also the scariest. Although I was afraid, I was hooked. For three years after that I would get my horse time at local dude ranches with various horses who were super patient with my inexperience. I found out about one of my teachers at school had a horse farm and they had a horse for sale there. My parents and I went to the farm, and we did not find a good fit for me and our budget, but I inquired about the possibility to go to the farm and help with chores. They said yes and soon after a few times a week became 5-6 day a week. I fell in love with an old horse who was available for half lease. His name was Mr. Koolaid. He had ben a trusted mount for 2 previous owners and was 24 years old at the time. The first time on got on him he must have thought “what the heck did they get me into”. In fear of being too heavy for him or not being able to get on him, I swung myself up there so hard that I fell off on the other side. He stood there and calmly looked back at me.  Could trust him and he was solid. I started to fall in love at that instant.
 
I was a sensitive teenager and very disconnected from my body to survive my world. The only place I felt at peace was with Koolaid. He was a source of light for me and he was able to bring out the best in me. Because of him, I have had so much good experiences in my life.  I only shared 3 years with him as he passed away at 27 due to lung issues but those years have had such a lasting influence on me. I became a social worker because he helped me connect with my strengths and passions.  Our connection was a felt one, I loved him, and he loved me. I was not always good to Koolaid and many things, looking back, I regret but he always accepted me and loved me. Still, I grew from those experiences and have been able to be there for other horses in a more deep and mature way. Each horse I meet seems to bring me closer to true love and connection. Koolaid was the first and I will always remember him.